| Valentine's Day massacre |
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| 05:51pm 05/03/2005 |
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mood:  What the fucks going on?
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Yeah, my life is pretty shitty right now. I got my cell phone taken away...my parents are starting to be aware of what Im really doing, nothings fun anymore. It's just BLAH. Im really quite sick of waking up to tell you the truth...seeing since how I can pretty much predict my day. I hate not having anything to do, and on top of that...doing the same old shit. Im not talking to my dad right now...which is usually key to my getting any money, any anything pretty much. So Im broke...that just makes me depressed. Im sooooo tired of not having money. I feel like a loser with no cell phone and no money now. No one calls me anymore. Thats probably because no one has my house number. 791-2826. I cant wait for the summer. I think about it all the time and I just get all geeked and shit and then go out looking for something to do...and of course - theres nothing. I wish we atleast had somewhere to chill. Im sick of riding around in cars. I need to make money somehow. I thought about robbing someone. haha. That wouldnt get me very far though. Plus I might feel bad. I NEED SOMETHING TO DO. I need to stop doing drugs too I think. That shits getting pretty old. Im always sick now. The good thing is that since I got put on that attendence contract BS at school, I think that gave me the start I needed to start doing my work again. Maybe this is better than I thought. I need to find someone I like. There's people I like right now, but I just dont know if I really want to be with them. Thats my problem with guys...I like them for so long, and then for some reason - I just dont anymore. I dont want to be all involved with someone and then get to the point where things should be going one way or the other and just be like "What am I even doing with this guy?" Im sick of that. I've done that too many times now and thats why I loose all the people I talk to. There have been so many people that I've talked to that were really cool fucking people...and for some reason we just stop talking all together. Like they just dissapear. I hate that. I dont know why I like people for so long and then just dont anymore though. I think I sike myself out in the beginning to think they're something they're not. I honestly dont really know. I mean its not like it happens every time...but its happened enough. I just dont want to be alone anymore really. I want someone to be able to talk to and confide in. I dont really have any GOOD friends right now that I can talk to about shit like that. It all just builds up. I freaked out on my mom the other day and afterwards I just thought like...what the fuck was going through my head? I wasnt really THAT upset - so why did i freak the way I did? It's because I DO let it all build up. I dont know. I just need someone right now. I dont know if that will happen though because I havent really found anyone lately that I just get weak in the knees about. I mean, sure, I LIKE people and I have crushes on people. But there isnt enough there to make me want to persue anything. Maybe kiss them and thats it. be done. I want to find someone who makes me nervous, someone who i'd be totally and utterly dedicated to. There IS someone in mind....but at the same time I think maybe we couldnt work. I dont know, im going to go play that battleship game with Sara and Poots. haha.
I want to do shit with my old friends. hit me up bitches. I miss you. TAKE ME OUT AND MAKE ME DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!! |
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| What does my name stand for? |
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| 12:59pm 20/02/2005 |
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mood: Just waking up
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| RACHEL |
| R |
is for |
Revolutionary |
| A |
is for |
Alluring |
| C |
is for |
Cheeky |
| H |
is for |
Helpful |
| E |
is for |
Explosive |
| L |
is for |
Luscious |
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| Im the shit - call me peppy la'pugh |
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| 03:42pm 05/02/2005 |
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mood:  hungry
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Jesus. I feel like its pretty much pointless to really try and update this thing, because I dont really like, tell everything thats been going on with me...but I like getting notes back. haha. Thats the best part.
So I havent been to a full day of school in like a long time. I havent been going at all really. heh. I hate going to school - but even worse I hate going back after I havent been there in like a week and a half, and have E's. :( I know its my fault but still...how fucked is that? All I've really been doing is hanging out with Willie, Jess, Adam, Mike and all those guys. Smoking...you know. hah. I've been hanging out with my sister way more now too. Which isnt bad, because we've been pretty cool with eachother. I hardly talk to casey or anyone anymore though. I talk to Sara more...and I hope I keep doing so. I miss Sara alot anyways. I miss having REAL, GOOD and close friends man. I miss having a friend who I can talk to about anything. I dont really have a best friend...I mean, dont get me wrong I have friends...friends that I absolutely adore. None I can really like have conversations with that I can trust them not to talk about it later with people. Whatever though.
I really cant wait for the summer though for real. I have a feeling that this summer is going to be the shit. I know for sure that Willie has the party house because, well, he just does. Everyone's always at his house. His parents leave for the summer too...so he has the house all to himself. pshh. Im going to try and make this summer like the craziest summer ever. Party is going to be the word.
Yeah but ahh, I dont really know - like I said... I dont really talk about whats actually going on in my life so I guess this is the idea of what I've been up to. I get my wisdom teeth taken out soon! |
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| "Cocaine is one hell of a drug." |
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| 10:45pm 20/01/2005 |
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mood:  -just good.
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Livejournals...I hate keeping up with these things. I feel like its always riding over my head that I need to hurry and quick update my LJ! haha. -jenn slang. But yeah, I thought I should udate.
School has been alright I suppose. I did quite well on my exams =D
-Except for math. Ohhf. The big D- ... the thing is though is that somehow my overall grade is still a B+. Good good. I like this new shit though. New classes...yeahh boy. I was getting so tired of the same thing everyday. I suppose it will only take like...halfway into the semester and I'll start hating this same shit too. But - what can you do? Thats school.
On a much lighter note...last week I can most definatly say - was the most wildest, most nuts week I've ever expeirenced. Life is ....whoa
Im just happy that Im having fun again. I almost felt like I was to a point where nothing was really going to be fun anymore. I had hoped that that was going to change soon. yes.
I havent talked to Sara much lately. Ben left. Thats pretty gay for sure...Ben was an A+ guy. heh. That was my nigga. I didnt hang out with him that much lately...either did I say BYE. Wack.
I honestly dont know what to write about. Hmmm ... Kenny is getting fatter ..? haha. for sure. I think thats pretty fucking humorous. Casey-he's filling up that 'extra skin' heh! Yeah but hey, Shawna's hott.
Jordan K is in one of my classes. I never really realized how much he talked. I like how he like didnt talk to me harldy at all this year. Shithead. Willie is the shit. haha. I finally found a tight guy friend. We've been hanging out lately. Willie, Jess, Me and Adam. I love how we dont really do anything important and we're still just down to do same thing everyday. I like it though. I needed a change, a good one. I found it. I miss Sara and Casey though. I want to like hang out with everyone I've ever met and have like one HUGE party of all those people. All those people that actually meant something, or made me remember them in some way. Yeahhh. That would be the coolest fucking party to me man. I remember alot of people. I know I've met some cool ass people too. Wow...I hate thinking of shit I'd love to happen that I know never will. Yeah. But I dont want to write anymore. I love my bitches. You know who you are.<3
Dip-set. |
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| I love you like you love me... |
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| 04:37pm 02/01/2005 |
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mood:  I need some
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Ohhh I know you've missed me bitches. I havent felt the need to get online lately...otherwise I would have updated this peice and told you all some stories. Yeapp...it's Christmas Break...Getting wasted is getting old. Not THAT old - but old. I spent the night last night at the condo with Sara. Ben was there for awhile, but he soon left. Before that I was with Willie. We went to Jays house and watched Bruce Almighty...the whole thing. It felt like we were only there like 10 mins. Oh well. Sara dropped Willie and I off at his house...we hung out for awhile, smoked and then Sara came back to pick me up and then it was off to the condo. Sara's so smart<3 NOT! She definatly locked her keys in her car last night, in the egnition. OOOooohhhfff! smart. Ben was all pissy because he had to pick up Sara's spare, drive out to the condo to give it to us, and then drive home...haha. oh well. No one else knows where the god damn place is.
Sooo a summary of this break...has been - good.
Like most of them...but this one was definatly GOOD.
I had loads of fun with Jess and Adam...All the people I've been meeting lately is this shit. I wanted to make new friends...and now Im finally doing it. All of Adam's friends think im cute...unfortunatly - none of them appeal to me...:/ Who knows though. Someone could come along.
I HOPE SOON! .... i hate being lonely
> I havent talked to Nate in centuries. ooohhhff. I wonder where he went? I MISS YOU. alot......I hate the way you dont call.
> Nick and I may go see a movie tonight...but that all depends on if my mom wants me home to do my homework. yay?
> Havent seen Millie OR Sarah ALL break!!! MILLIE IS LEAVING ME AGAIN TOMORROW AND I DIDNT EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO SEE HER :(
> I saw Casey this break...good thing. I cant go too long without her or else life just gets all built up on me since she's the only one I REALLY talk to.
>No shows lately.
> I miss the old days. ALOT..I never have fun like I used to.
> I NEED SOME LOVIN' SOO BAD. I need someone badly.
[People PLEASE, make use of my cell phone!
call me whenever you wish. DO IT. 245-3879]
Yeap...Christmas was good. Christmas eve was better. Getting wasted with your family = priceless<3
I got my hair cut a long time ago too. It's shorter. I believe Im going to be striping it and dying it all brown again :-0 changes, changes.
I love my friends more now than ever.
holler. Smooches
The new tupac CD...mm. excellent |
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| 03:51pm 02/01/2005 |
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mood:  lonely
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Rachel
2. Rayhoe <Casey
3. Ray Ray
THREE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS THAT YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT:
1. Mary-Jane/Casey/Sara
2. Jessica
3. Mary-Jane?
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. some foxy thing i dont remember
2. XoutTheEyes000
3. those were like my only ones...
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Indian
2. Mexican
3. French
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. being ALONE
2. snakes
3. my mom whens she's angry
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. shower
2. weed
3. a friend
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Green zip up hoodie
2. Black sleep pants
3. my white tee
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS:
1. The Mars Volta
2. Who?? MIKE JONES
3. Cursive
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. The Butcher Song - Cursive
2. Mars Volta song
3. Tupac - dont you trust me?
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Hands/backs
2. the way they talk to me/how attentive they are
3. height
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. A cartwheel ... never could
2. Stay off my new cell phone
3. sit at home
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. ohhh you know
2. cello <3<3
3. get crunk
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Find a guy that I REALLY like
2. take a shower/have my mom make me food
3. smoke a blunt
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. I cant spell it...but the doctors
that put people to sleep before surgery!
2. Teaching
3. A drug dealer haha
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. France
2. Amsterdam...mmhmm
3. Casey and I are moving to London...haha |
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| 04:00pm 27/11/2004 |
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mood:  I love my friends....kisses
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Yeap...so I wanna describe people and have them guess too! This looks fun...ohhhhh boy!
Here goes -
1. You and me get pretty funny together. We hung out a lot in spring break and had oodles of fun. We truely love vice city and we used to go on bike rides and I had to ride a puiny bike that hurt my crotch. Drew has funny fingers. Your brother looks like a transvestite.
2. You are my muffin! This one is an easy one because of that little name. I enjoy you a lot...but havent seen any of you lately. We together, are expert pumpkin carvers...AND we are canoodlers. Movies with you are most excellent...you make me happy and cheerful. It's hard to be mad around you!
3. You and I got really close around Spring break, you left for awhile and came back not too long ago. I really like you, and I use to enjoy mr. goodtimes with you. I really really think your fucking awesome...and I love how your so precious. Aloofa bitch...thats my name!
4. You are my other BEST friend. You and I together...fight soo much - but at the end of the day I love you. You are having a b-day soon. We've had so many crazy times together...and we used to be good friends with number 9. ick. Your just you...and I dont know where I would be without you - (You drunk off your ass : "Ugghhh") I LOVE YOU AN UNGODLY AMOUNT!
5. You are the closest person to me in the whole entire world. Without you...there would be no me. Together we made eachother who we are today. It all started in 6th grade. You have hidden things on your scalp that really only I and my family REALLY know about. You are the person I trust everything and my life with. I can tell you anything and sometimes you make me feel stupid...and other times we share everything in our 'world famous talks'. You - my love - I have sooo many memories with you... just toooo much to talk about. Sooo in conclusion I love you and number 4 the most out of anyone.
6. You're ghetto...and you dont read my lj - but I decided I have to put you in here anyway. I love you alot also...but sometimes I truely want to kill you. You annoy me in SO many ways...and I do the same to you. We once covered the 6th grade building bathroom toilets with rubber cement glue. We were bad asses back then. haha. We've been through alot and I feel like sometimes you're my sister. Nigga...you crazy. You have alien toes too. sick.
7. You are my favorite man in the world. You and I are pretty close...and you tend to come to me with your female problems. I know a lot more about you than anyone else...things that people often get wrong about you. Sometimes - I feel I know you like the back of my hand. I know your exact type of babes...haha. I care about you alot man...You're my best guy friend for sure. <3 Sometimes we loose touch which sucks. I also think that if I was a guy...I'd be alot like you - vice versa for you.
8. You are honestly the cutest thing ever. I really, really love you as well. I've recently introduced you to some people and some things...which I am glad for. We've been hanging out a lot lately and going shopping too. (wink wink) You like my friend named Andy...haha. CUTTEEEE. I really love your basement and Spring break times. Those were the best. Remember that one time at your house with the egg and Kenny? haha. I FORGOT THE EGG!!
9. I really hate you. You and I and number 4 used to be the closest of close friends. We were the shit at one time...but that soon went away when you decided that you were a s-l-u-t. You made me laugh alot when we were friends. I remember all those times at your house with your stupid dog and your mom always walking around poking herself due to MS...waiting for someone to pitty her. She was stupid. We had our good times...and obviously our bad. I think that your extremely stupid and gross. You look like a man in ways. I hope you're at least making kenny happy.
10. You have my name. EASY. You are like the epitimy of hott. Everyone loves you and would like to be your friend. Lucky me...I AM! :) You write me some of the best notes in school and we always trade off when switching classes. You're the hardest person to hate...but alot of people do hate you. They're jealous though...thats why. You're always well put together in clothes. We've had crazy ass...FUN times in our middle school orchestra classes and trips! I love hugging you because your my daughter....my baby girl. I love you a lot as well...simply because no matter what...I dont think I ever could. I used to call you CT too, you're a little flirter :) mmm...I love you.
Well...these are the first 10 people I thought of first while I was writing this. Most of them being the most important people in my life....or just people that I have memories with that are awesome. I love you all on this list!! See if you can guess who YOU are!!
smooches to you all! Sorry if I forgot you. I try. |
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| Vicoden makes me itch. |
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| 08:04pm 26/11/2004 |
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mood:  content
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Im really antsy right now. I cant sit still.
Nothing to exciting has been going on. Im at Sara's right now, and we're waiting for some people to come over so we can hang out. Sunday is Sara's birthday. WOOOOOO WHO. Im so excited. BUT - im extra excited because tomorrow night (saturday) we're having a little party type deal for her birthday and Shannon's mom said that she would leave. We have the whole house to ourselves. We're going to be getting pretty fucked up. So...thats what im looking forward to. Ohhh boy.
My Thanksgiving was kinda boring. I sat around the house and then we ate. Later my sister and I went to my fathers to pay him a visit. We looked at ALL these old pictures of us and the family. It was pretty cool.
MY BROTHER'S HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
Im super happy about this...because Im going to be an aunt.
I've been waiting for one of my bro's to have a kid....but the shitty part is that I dont think Im going to be able to see it that much. Seeing since how they live in Cali...and we're all the way back here in Michigan - I hope it works out though... I want to see it. If it's a girl...they're naming it after my middle name!!! (Elizabeth) cute. Well... I dont feel like writing anymore - so im out.
smooches. |
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| Holy HELL! |
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| 02:58pm 21/11/2004 |
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mood:  Millie's home!
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Awww shucks!!!!! Millie baby is home people. I'm so excited.
<3<3Millie Shek is hotter than a poptart fresh out of the toaster!!!!<3<3
Sarah Breen! This calls for a shopping adventure! |
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| Why'd you have to go and tell me that? I would have been just fine without you |
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| 01:44pm 21/11/2004 |
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mood:  aggravated
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Sunday morning - and I feel like a jackass. I didnt go to the show last night...which I am kind of sad about. I really wanted to see muffin play :( I've been waiting for so long....and I didnt go. What a putsz right? yeah, I know. I havent talked to Nicholas the whole week. The madre was gone, so I didnt do much talking to anyone on the phone...you know how that goes. But I miss him. Sheesh.
Last night I just hung out with Shannon and Sara. No one wanted to do much except for what we we're doing, so we chilled there. Blake, Kristy, Michelle, and Ryan came over....and you know - invited themselves in. hah. We soon had to boot them out the door though because miss Shannon's madre was going to be home soon. We went to Nate's not long after that and spent some QT on his porch. haha. His porch is the shit. Sarah Breen, I wished you would have been there because I know how much you wanted to "HANG OUT" on his porch. haha. we did. boo yah. Next time for you love. Then, you know - we went back to Shannon's. I came home at like 2:30 in the morn and the Madre was passed out. So I didnt get yelled at. ALWAYS a good thing.
Today I have no idea whats going to go on. I want to hang out with Millie baby and Sarah Breen. I miss those two. Mill especially. I havent seen my beloved in awhile. It saddens me to hear she cant even hang out with mr. goodtimes anymore - but hey, whatareya gonna do? Yeah...I also need to shower yet today...it's 2 and I still havent. GOSH I love how Im such a bum. Someone come to the rescue...Im really bored right now actually and I need something to do.
By the way, IM SOOO excited for thanksgiving. OHHH BOY! I love good food...and pies! oh lord. This is going to be goooood. This year is going by MUCHO fast - it's insane. It seems like not even a month ago I was moaning and groaning about going back to school...and here I am now - almost to Christmas break. yay. Im pretty happy about that too though. Im mucho sick of school. Take a look at my attendence record...that'll tell ya. I got a letter in the mail today that said I have a certain amount of unexcused absences...and that if my teacher wanted to drop me for the class...she could. Yikes. I hope she doesnt because if she does ... there goes a credit. :( Im so stupid. I need to get my ass back into gear. I hate school so much right now...but I need to fucking pass. thats for sure. god. Now Im just mad because im talking about school. Im going to finish this up now. CYA.
**Nobody gets me like you**<3 |
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| Dont shake, I hate to see you tremble |
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| 08:41pm 12/11/2004 |
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mood: F'ing CRAZY
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yeap, well Im at Sarah Breen's right now and we're waiting for a very important phone call. YEAP.
I love this week. It's been so completely crazy! I seriously, had a ball this week. Ever since I've been hanging out with andy and them more...I've been having a blast. It's wonderful.
I didnt have school today. woo who. I like not having school. Besides, I needed to recooperate from last night....WHOA.
I FINALLY GOT MY SURPRISE FROM MY LOVE!
He sent me a letter all! It's the cutest thing ever. I love my muffin. He does the sweetest things that make my heart melt. haha. Nicholas...is the best. ever.
I miss him terribly and I havent got to talk to him much this week...i've been doing crap so I come home late and I dont end up talking to him. BUT this weekend, should be good. HE'S HOME! yay!!!
ALRIGHT bitches, there's my quick update. Millie is comming home!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shit. Im excited!
umm, my mom is going out of town this Monday....UNTIL....next Friday! THIS means that this is going to be ANOTHER crazy ass week. NO MOM! NO AUTHORITY? psshh. party time!
love you all. Smooches! oh yeah, and I changed my journal. COMPLIMENTS TO SARAH! |
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| Hungry like the wolf |
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| 11:03pm 01/11/2004 |
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mood:  gloomy
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Halloween weekend...was good.
Friday - I hung out with Sarah Breen and Amanda...my babies!! (Mwuaw) and we chilled and I introduced Sarah to a couple people and things. Ahem. . . And later Amanda and I went to Shannon's with her and Sarah and we all just hung out and had a girls night and we got a little crazy. haha.
Saturday - :) I hung out with the nicky boppers later on and we were going to go to a movie...but we waited around and watched the game instead. So I was supposed to be home around 10 for Sara to come and pick me up so we could hang at Shannon's....but she decides to get drunk before, and cant drive. haha. Whatever, I was upset for a couple minutes because of the fact that I got hoe'd out again by her - but then I realized who I was with and I cant be angry around him. So, I didnt mind one bit after like two minutes because I believe I probably had more fun anyhow. Saturday was a good night. Nick and I ended up renting Peter Pan...because its ENCHANTING! ;) and - of course canoodled on the coutch :D wonderful. After that was Beeth-oven (beethoven the movie) because both of us hadnt seen in awhile. haha It was cheesey of course. At about 1:30 am we went to the Texan for some breakfast. We spotted all the men from onxylovemagnet and Andy and I exchanged waves. He was a cool guy, its a shame we dont talk much anymore. But I got what the nicholas recommended (gold rush) It was good. A lot of food, but good. Yeah...then the night was over like that. I might not get to see him next weekend :( I hope so though!!
SO I definatly got back around 3 and then my sister calls with my cousin Ryan Mauro, and they're with Ryan Cook...I havent hung out with these boys in so long...so I was like fuck it - come pick me up. They definatly wanted to cause some mischeif so we were driving looking for something off the wall to do...and we were on Plymouth and Ryan decides his car will make it over that new littl cirlce thing they put in there. Yeap..so we were on our way over it...and seeing since how it was raining like ALL day before - we for sure got stuck in a HUGE circle of mud. ICK! I had to help push and I had flip flops on. Even more ick. haa. But I had to handle it like a trooper. cause i am. YEAAH. then we got out, due to me. hah. THEN I came home and went to sleep a while later.
HALLOWEEN!!!!
I slept until 3:30...because im a lamo that had a long night the night before. But I got up and showered at 4 and ended up over Sarah Breen's house with Amanda, Eric Macintyre and some kid named Jason. We definatly decided to walk over by Rachel and Casey's houses, and on the way we DEFINATLY DID!!! GO trick or treating. I looked amish...so thats what I said I was. It was a done deal. I got lots of Candy too. Yeaaahhh. I havent been trick or treating in so long. I thought I mine as well. That was fun and then we of course worked our way to Caseys. She was there with Scott and then all this drama started all over again with Amanda's ex and Eric. STUPID. Of course Tyler wanted to fight, and basically it wasnt going to happen because he wanted to jump Eric...and thats even more stupid. So whatever. I left and went with miss Sara Shooter. haha. We went to Shannon's and I met Tim. I've been hearing about this Tim and he is really annoying. haha. I wanted him to really shut up because he's always talking and he's always loud and alway's babbling. But it was alright, he left. I found out I could have seen Nick if I hadnt been over Shannon's because he wanted to stop by and see me before he went back to Ferris...which sucked - because I wanted to see him before he left as well :/ - but hopefully I see him next weekend.
Today I didnt go to school. Because no one woke me up. AND I was perfectly fine with that. So yeah, good thing. I didnt write my presentation for English (WHICH I STILL DIDNT AND IT'S NOW 11:30, Monday night) and I was suppose to present today. I think im going to go write that now. Instead I woke up at 9...hung out with my sister and Andrew and we went to the East Side to Ray's record to get my sister some CD's cause some guy Andrew knows owns that shop and he sells burnt CD's for like 3 dollars or something. haha. Cute right? haha. I thought so too. I cleaned my house, and my room...which was MUCH needed. It was indeed a mess. So after I tackled those tasks....I went with Andy Choate and Nate. Nate is cool. I never thought I would have been hanging out with him...but it was sweet to. He's crazy. They're both crazy haha. I love em. I stopped and scared Sara while she was SURPRISINGLY getting into a car with Derek to hang out. CRAZZZY. I definatly wasnt expecting to see them hanging out. Then we took off. I went home after that. Yeah. I like home now. Its appreciate being home. I used to hate it.
I read all of these old things saved on my computer from like when Kenny and I were dating, and when I was friends with Shawna...and all these pictures of people I used to talk to! Pat, all the Jamestown kids...everyone - it was crazy. I miss those days. Some of these conversations I had with Kenny pissed me off so much though. I was brought back into all these emotions mixed with hatred, jealousy, and loneliness. Everything about him makes me so weird...I dont know how I handled it for like 8 months. I cant believe I was obsessed with him for almost 2 years! Its insane. Thats all I have to say on that subject now though...so yeah. I guess it was kinda good to read them though...I love to look back on how things were not even that long ago - I suppose thats the reason I save them ehy?
... but yeah im out.
- Dont you, forget about me*** |
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| Get out the butchers knife! |
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| 10:13pm 27/10/2004 |
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mood: fucking chilled :D
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Fuck these things. I just wrote such a long good entry. Thats why I hate updating these stupid things...it takes long. Whatever...it sucks cause now I wont even go into detail of what I wanted to write like the one that just GOT DELETED!!!! GRRR!
Yeah well...we just got back from the Red Eye, It was really good. Then we went to Charlie's. He lives like right above the Red Eye...hmm, I didnt even know it.
Okay, so Yeah - I've been spending a really good portion of my weekend time with my lover muffin. NAMED...Nicholas. I really enjoy him people. He's a spectacular fella. Time with him is always well spent. We canoodle and watch movies. Which I'd have to say, is by far one of the best things I could spend time doing. To just pop in a flick and lay on the couch and cuddle with someone who is down right unbelieveably splended...could it get any better??? NO! I dont think so!!! Yeah...he's definatly one of my top favorite people. :D
Yeap...Im sitting with Scott and Casey right now. I have a feeling they may work out extremely well. Which is good. I want nothing more than for my Suit-Case to be happy...and I know Scott is the man to do it. They sure are one cute couple.
YEAHHHHH so I know you ALL want to hear about how Homecomming was SOOO cool.......but it wasnt. hah.
To say the least that is. I had fun only when I was hanging out with Mark, and at the very end when ( I DONT KNOW HOW !! ) but surprisingly I got to dance with my muffin and hang out with him for a little while. Off and on of course, because he's so popular. haha. Yeah...so then I had to leave though. Which in a way, I was a little glad it was over. Whenever I'd go up to talk to Nick...or Rachel, or anyone for that matter - I just felt really out of place the whole night. I didnt really like my hair. AT ALL. and I wasnt feeling like I looked all that good, so whatever. But yeah, it was nothing more then just a fashion show for everyone. PUH-LEASE. It's not all what everyone put it up to be. PSHH.
OKAY ladies and gents...I think my grades are slipping! WHAT TO DO...WHAT TO DO? I just wanted to punch Casey. Really hard. But anyhow...yeah, my grades kinda suck right now. I wanted to stick with all A's all year....but I dont think im going to have them on this report card. Whatever though, I know I can raise them if I just put some more effort into homework. I hate it. But there's no way of getting around it...so I shouldnt complain. My father is going to buy me a Cello people! I CANT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM FOR THIS! Oh my lord. I've been playing since I was in 6th grade...and Im just NOW going to get one. So yes...this is big. I fucking love it so much. I do. I feel so good when I play, I just want to scream. It makes me want to just play it all the time...and now I can. Hopefully with one IN my posession, I will get even better. Everything about it...its shape, its sound, and the way its feels so good to play it...is perfect.
thats all for tonight people. I LOVE YOU ALL. probably. unless you suck. smooches!!!! |
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| When we rise it's like strawberry feilds |
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| 12:00pm 13/10/2004 |
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mood:  awake
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Im at home right now because I didnt feel like going to school today. If today would have been a full day, and I would have had to get up at my usual time. . . I dont think I would have made it through the day. It was infact a half day today at school so it wasnt that important to go. Im really glad for that because every night my brother has been here keeping us up like like 1 in the morning and I cant run on like 5 hours of sleep. I was drained last night. My mom and I made a bunch of oatmeal cookies for sweet serenade! Ohhh boy! Thats today mind you all. Yeah so those cookies turned out wonderful...sara was supposed to come over and help me because she promised to devote yesterday to just me because she's been hoe'in me out everyday...but...again - of course she HOED me out :-/ Then later I call to find she's at... guess... yeah - you got it! SHANNON'S! Whatever though, im fine with getting hoe'd out everyday. Even after im promised I wont. I like it this way! hah.
So yeah im all nervous for that sweet serenade thing. I really hope we do well. No one that said they were going to come bought tickets from me. So eff them. The only people that actually bought them from me was my mom, brother, and father. no one else. How wack? Its nothing toooo important so im not that angry...but it would have been cool to have them go when they said they would.
Yesterday was A HELL of a lot better day than Monday. I didnt really talk to Jim, there was nothing to say. And Im sure he kept talking about how much I hate him to everyone...because thats what he does - complain to other people. hah. But yeah, I dont hate him...i just dont want to talk to him right now...i'll end wanting to punch him or something. He asked sara to homecomming...and all these other people so im sure he's not that sad about me 'hoe'in him out' for it anymore. Yeap. So - im glad yesterday wasnt so bad. I ended up going home with Casey and we chilled at her house for awhile...went downstairs and had another one of our world-famous talks. I think it was a pretty good one. GOD thats also what I needed. I love Casey. I think her and Scott might hook up!!! OHHH BOY! I want Casey to have a really good bf...and I think Scott would be that for her. They would be really cute together, among other good things. Yeap...I need to shower though, im out. |
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| Close my eyes, just for tonight. |
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| 06:34pm 11/10/2004 |
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mood:  I'll slit your throat!
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Christ, I hope I dont have another shitty week. Last week was terrible and I was just in such a bad mood. I can tell it's already heading to be another one already. Im sick of being in bad moods.
To all these doucheys for leaving comments in my journal about stuff you know nothing about, besides what the person that doesnt even know what he's talking about tells you...fuck you. I wish you would stop talking crap to me when you dont even know any of the story, it's rediculous.
Yesterday was a good day and I was hoping it would stay that way. I hung out with my muffin and that made me extremely happy. I love Nicholas. We carved a pumpkin with a raised eyebrow (like nick's) ahah...its so cute. It's the coolest thing ever. Nick named him "canoodler". Then we baked the pumpkin seeds and those were ick. hah. But we made the best out of them while trying to throw them and make it into eachoter's mouths. hah. Too bad I only caught like 3. Yeah so then we watched this weird movie called Saved. It was all about Jesus in like a funny way. It was kind of stupid/alright. Then he left me around 11 :( So my time was well spent with my muffin, but it would have been nice to spend longer with him. It's the first time we've hung out since Playscape...and that was a long time ago. Blah, Nicholas - we need to spend more time together my love.
Soo ahh, yeah. I dont even know if I AM going to homecomming now. I wanted to go with someone, but it wont happen. haha no one knows though!!! but my casey dear. haha. Oh how I love her. Yes well...I think im off now. Leave me something nice. hah. hopefully. |
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| We stood in the door - with your hands on my waist, and you kissed me like you meant it |
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| 04:11pm 10/10/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful
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Yes well, there isnt much to say. I dont know if im going to Homecomming now. I dont have stuff yet. Or any appointments. + I dont think Im going with Jim. Im not sure whats going on with that. Im sure he's telling everyone that I "hoe'd him out" ... But he's the one that said that it really doesnt matter if we go or not, cause he was already bummed. Who knows.
Andy Choate wants to go with me if I dont go with Jim. So maybe I might infact go.
Yeah, so today I am hanging out with my muffin! YAY! Im excited. I've missed him so much. He sent me this little picture last night...with this sequence of eating a cupcake...(this is what he calls me) and it was the most adorable thing I've seen. I wanted to scream it was so cute. hah. He's the best. But yeah...I finally see him. :D So this day should be fun. I didnt do anything last night and it was actually good. Im kind of glad. I guess its not that bad to sit home!
I have my orchestra thing comming up! YIKES. I think im ready for it though. One thing I've been thinking about is maybe majoring in music. I think that would be cool. I really, really want to be like...good. I want to be able to play in front of thousands of people in symphonies. I think that would be so awesome.
im out though. holler. |
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| I've got a weegie out of this world. |
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| 12:43pm 07/10/2004 |
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mood:  distressed
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Well, I dont really like to update that much...but im on casey's computer - so I said ... what the hell?
Just got out of school. phew...today was - alright. Except for in 3rd hour when i got into it with this old friend of mine, Robert. See, we used to be really good friends .. then he got a girlfriend and he never really talked to me anymore. So yeah, i was friends with his gf for awhile, then we went up north in the summer and we were pretty close up there. But then when rob and i got into it today about him calling me a bitch because i said he was wack for not sharing his treats with me cause i gave him a starburst and he decided to be selfish. I hate that...really, i do. He was like "why would i give you something when your such a bitch?" I mean, i seriously wasnt even doing anything to him either. I GAVE HIM MY! STARBURST! i want to punch him. THEN he was like your just a bitch rachel...kelsey told me all about when you two were up north and how you were mean to her and all this and that and how i was mean to her brothers gf... which is rediculous because kelsey was the one that told me to be mean to her. and kelsey still was the one that was mean to her. So yeah, i guess she was talking about me after up north which is so fake. Why in the hell do people talk about how cool you are, and how much they love you - and then go and talk shit. Seriously. BOOO them.
So on a much lighter note then...my day was alright bedsides that B-S. I talked to Scott alot today which was cool because he's a good guy and I like talking to him when he actually seems like he wants to talk to me. He's a playful one. Hopefully him and Greg make out. YUMMMM! (rachie b) wink wink.
Yeah, I need to sell these sweet serenade tickets...so anyone who wants to come to Heritage to munch on some good sweet treats and hear me play...and the rest of the orchestra....COME TO ME FOR TICKETS. I would like everyone to come...but no one really seems interested. But do come to me if you are by this little advertisment I just posted. :)
Im feeling kind of -something- lately. I feel really uneasy and annoyed with everything. Like the past few days I've just wanted to walk up to someone and punch them. It would have made me feel so much better - and i dont even know why. I dont know why Im being like this...i could be stressed, im not sure. But I dont like it one bit. Rachel bohn makes me feel better because lately all i've been doing is hugging her. haha. I love her. yes, yes i do. I havent hung with Sara in like 2 days...and that may NOT seem like a long time, but for me it is. I kinda miss her. But at least shes happy - i think? - about talking to someone. I just miss her .. already. I know, im pathetic. What can I do though? And everytime I see her in school she doesnt talk to me, and seems upset like she doesnt want to talk to me either. I dont know, its upsetting. I feel comfortable with her and we can just chill and shit and i like it, I love her as well. haha, i miss you sara :( come home to mama. haha. I want to hang out with Nicholas Bujouvus- I miss him alot. I need to hang with you muffin, im going crazy! haha. jk. but I do miss you alot. soo,Yeah..I have a lot of homework today. And I want to eat some food right now because im a tad bit growly in the stomache region. So i'll try to keep up with this JOURNAL. holler :D |
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| I was standing on the surface of a perfirated sphere, when the water filled every hole |
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| 12:29pm 26/09/2004 |
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mood:  what does this mean?
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Yeah...again - another crazy weekend. haha. I love it. We got a little crazy again last night. Friday I didnt do anything, really - until about 9 when I went to Jim's. We hung out and watched Pirates of the Carribean. I had fun with him and then I left around 12. Jim's a cutie haha.
BUT last night (saturday) My mother went up north again which meant it was definatly time to get crazy. Amanda came over around 4 and then I got ready and we hung out with my sister and Amber, and did some Alabama slammers! aha YEAHHHH! Those things rock my world, literally. The good news is that I didnt mess my foot up at all, so I was pretty damn excited about that. So yeah, we partied here until about 9 then Justin D., Nathan Burr, and Jared came over and hung out with us for like 20 mins until they started getting weird about the people who were smoking cigarette's in here. haha. They dont like the smell of smoke they said. And Amber was getting too crazy for them. My sister was hitting on Justin too - which made me laugh extremely hard. Justin was like "Rachel, should I put the moves on your sister??" ... I was like "haha, go for it!" But he didnt. He just gave her a peck. haha. Then I was hanging out with Justin because I was lonely then they left. haha. Yeap - then we too left and went to some girl named Michelle's house. Amber was talking crap to her so we left. jeeze, she's such a drunk. Then we went by this girl Ashley Cronkrights house and her MOTHER told us that we should get out of the car so she could kick our asses? haha. She's like 40 something. I was like oh god, how trashy is this? People are really stupid sometimes. Then my sister's ex-boyfriend was telling our friend Danielle he was going to beat her ass. It was extremely nuts...i mean, some guy telling a girl that he was going to beat her up? Phh. They're cool. So after that incident, we went home. I was hoping to hang out with Mark...but he didnt call so we hung around here and I passed out in my chair not too long after and like 1. Then somehow at like 3 in the morning I awoke in my bed, not knowing how I got there...listening to my sister yelling about how "SHE'S BACK BITCHES!!" haha...so I got up and then we started the party all over again and Andrew came over and then my sister left. haha. Then the party was all over again in a matter of minutes. So, I went to bed.
This morning we woke up and went to McDonald's, hoping to get some food...but it was still breakfast so we just drove off. haha. Then we started smelling something in the back, that smelled like beer. So I got out and checked the trunk, only to find that the beer back there had been shaken up and spilling everywhere! How disgusting!!! It reeks. To the point where I almost puked. I hate beer, especially the smell of it. So right now I think Im going to watch a movie and hang for bit and clean my house up. It's my mom's birthday tomorrow! haha. the big 4-7!!
Happy Birthday Miss LaDrig! :) haha. I miss Casey a little bit. I havent talked to her. Sara too. :( |
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| Nothing some ALABAMA SLAMMERS cant fix!!! |
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| 04:22pm 20/09/2004 |
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mood:  excited
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Yes, so right now we're at Jenn's and we're hanging out. Adam Collier is comming over and he's funny as shit. hah. YEAH this weekend was VERY packed full of excitement. haha.
FRIDAY - Me, Justin D., Jordan K., Nathan Burr, Gage and Kevin all went to the show in Bay City at the skyroom. AHH, alot happened there. Nathan, Justin and I all drank a bit and got a little crazy. ahah. What fun it was though. WHAT FUN. I love Justin when he's like that he was being SO crazy. Me, and Nathan hung out for a while - he's so funny. Then we met Travis from The Natalie Fight....and he did some ALABAMA SLAMMERS with us! hahah I love alabama slammers - jeeze they make me nuts. haha. Yeah so we all got crazy and watched The Natalie Fight and that was pretty damn wonderful. Of course everything is 10 x's better when you drink (music) i dont know why - it just is. haha. But yeah...then we watched Justin, Kevin, Nathan, Chad Rulig and all those men all almost get into a fight because I guess some guy called Chad a pussy emo boy. :-/ So yeah, they didnt end up fighting, which is good I suppose - cause Justin was extremely drunk and probably would have gotten hurt haha. Yeah, then we went back to Kevin's hosue and watched Jerry Springer uncensored 'i refuse to wear my clothes' hahaa - as Jordan obsessed about the girls boobies.
saturday we partied again with andy choate, jim, chad, the szott's, fat chad, phil, josh green and casey and sara. Casey was plastered and she cried alot. I got a little annoyed but I still love her a lot. She's my buddy. :) my BABY CAKES! yes, but anyhow adam collier is here, and he;s cool - so im getting off. Im going to homecomming with Jim for sure now, he asked me! hahah aww, he's so cute :) I like him. |
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| Im outside of your window, with my radio |
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| 07:14pm 16/09/2004 |
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mood: cheerful
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Welp, Hmmm - this week has been ok. I had to go to court on Tuesday for my MIP stunt. BLAH. SO yeah, that went a lot better than it could have. I got this 6 month thing, and I have to stay out of trouble. Probation = KINDA...but not as extreme.
So yeah, thats that. This week has been a very good one I think though. So Jim likes me I hear. And Im making more friends. I dont know who I'm going to Homecomming with. I dont know yet. I DONT KNOW! See, I have some choices... And I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. The person that I kinda DO want me to ask, hasnt yet. So I dont know about that. If he doesnt, I guess Im going with Scott. Scott is awesome as ever. He's wonderfully intellectual and I havent been exposed to many people like him, which I like because he's different. So on this Jim subject, I just found out he liked me. I dont know the deal with that yet though. It's all really confusing. I dont know how he is with women. I dont want to say that I need a whole lot from a guy...but then again... I need certain things. And If I'm going to get involved with someone - they have to give it to me. It's nothing too big. Just certain things ya know? Everyone has those certain things they want/need.
ahhh, I dont know if anyone but casey knows what I mean BLAH!
Anyhow, I kinda like Jim...but I do believe I need to hang out with him more. haha. He's a cool guy. He makes me laugh extremely hard. I dont know about all this stuff though. it's CA-razy. I enjoy him. :) I dont know about him and his feelings for me though. He may have just said he liked me to someone? SOMETHING i dont know...I dont know FOR sure yet! Jim puts me in a good mood. haha. I dont know how he really feels though about me.
I dont want to go up north though! I think my FAJA may make me. I DONT WANT TO. I have TOO many plans this weekend and I need to do things this weekend with people SO MUCH TO DO! haha. We're getting CRUNK this weekend with People! yay! haha.
So yeah, we actually just got back from Jim's - he almost died people!
AND now, later we're going to go to the Red Eye for A MILKY WAY!!!! YAY!!! and I think we're going there with Scott! :) |
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